persistence

i think persistence is good.

you try over and over to get something right, to compromise, to change yourself to fit a circumstance or try to fix the circumstance itself to just feel better.

you try again and again and again and again. different ways, different situations, different strategies. it’s like an infinitely-shifting puzzle – once you find a piece that fits amid the thousands of pieces, the puzzle re-scrambles itself.

it’s admirable and it makes you stronger. it can also hurt.

sometimes things don’t shift as you expect them or need them to. as hard as you try to alter circumstances, maybe sometimes they’re not meant to change at all. but stay fixed and unfaltering, because that’s just the way they intrinsically are. they just are.

and i can’t keep trying.

i will not lose any more energy on a persistent and false/blinded sense of hope.

i’m ready to move on. no “i think’s” or “maybe’s”. there is no more time for that.

⌇

love, izzy