twenty seventeen

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according to some weird website, these were my top nine photographs on instagram this year – (ironically) selected by which ones received the most likes. they're far from my best photos that i've taken this year, or the ones that mean the most to me, at least. 

hello.

it's been a long year. i'm done with my lists of things that have happened in the spans of time between each time i write. i think. gosh, it's been a long year. 

i feel like the end of 2017 and the beginning of 2018 is the firsts of lasts (or maybe even the lasts of firsts), if that makes sense. i told my mom in november that this is my last thanksgiving living at home. i told her the other day that this is my last christmas living at home. i'm living my last december, january, and february of high school. i already had my last birthday at home. the walls in my room are slowly filling up with the last photos of my time in new york. i'm going to have my first last prom. and my first last graduation. 

it's weird. 

in this lull of time – of waiting time – until the end of the year, i feel like i'm just wasting time. wasting time all the time. i'm doing things, like school work, but even that seems empty in a way. i think anticipation is killing me. 

i started volunteering at an animal shelter. i started drawing again (the last time, if you remember, was in 8th grade). i might sign up for an art class a few times during the week. i'm trying to start a notebook (but, so far unsuccessfully) again. i'm listening to new music. that doesn't feel empty. even though i'm filling empty time with old things. 

i'm not getting nostalgic yet. 

it's snowing outside.

that's nostalgia. 

here are my hand-selected songs that i listened to the most in 2017. izzy of 2018, listen to these if you want a glimpse back in time. 

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biggest little city

i went to reno last weekend.

i saw my friends that i never get to see.

we recorded music.

i climbed a snowy hill.

i fell into the snow. purposefully. 

i was in arizona for a few hours.

i think i cried at some point. i probably won't see them again for a while.

love you guys.

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a color study: orange

axel oswith | othello grey | dan rubin | faithcouch | mike lyon | ferrian reynaldi | motokimokito | lukasph | yumna

i have been in a creative rut recently. i'm trying to get back into photography again after my 2 month-long hiatus in the fall. (remember that documentary i'd been working on?). i've been curating images a lot. i've done a curation in the past of parallel images of people and weird things on the street. 

but let's start new. 

here's orange. 

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on another note, i haven't talked about what's going on in my life lately. it's almost december. thanksgiving is over. fall is (close to) being over. i'm in the midst of senior life and nearing the end of my teenagedom. what???

i just finished my senior yearbook page. 

i just submitted my college applications.

i just turned eighteen. 

i just made a movie. 

i just presented in front of a board of trustees.

i just got my driver's license. heck, i can drive.

i just booked my own flight. 

i just started dancing.

i'm doing all these new things. i feel good. 

dear izzy of 2018, you did good in 2017.

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loud quiet, a documentary

it's here: my individual study project to cap the end of the beginning of my senior year of high school. ready?

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from a small portion of my process paper (translated to be all lower case, of course):

outside of school, i am an artist, a photographer. for me, photography is a form of self-expression; because of this, it is meaningful to share my art with others. in this age, social media is the obvious medium to share my art. social platforms have given me the opportunity to express myself through photography and writing to others: i often write posts about art and "teenagedom" (here) on my blog, i make short films on my Youtube, and i post a lot of photography on my instagram. but i am conflicted because they have also tempted me into creating art for the sake of self-promotion and "likes" instead of for the purpose of expressing my authentic self.

until ninth grade, i kept my followers in mind when i photographed. i strategically figured out what sort of photographs received more "likes," changing my subjects to fit the trend: photos of hands, marble backgrounds, pictures of food, new york skylines, avocados, and selfies were most popular at the time.

my public prominence grew, and i felt a sense of fulfillment despite the fact that i valued the views of others more than my own.  

my authenticity had gotten overwhelmed by my self-promotion on social media.

to search for purity and honesty in this platform, i wanted to study the purity of self-expression in another medium… architecture; specifically, the work of mexican architect luis barragán.

throughout his career, barragán used inexpensive and simple materials such as wood and brightly colored stucco and focused on the interaction of his work with nature and light. in a time of ostentatious art––of the ornate surrealism of frida kahlo and savador dalí––luis barragán achieved a clarity of vision through plainness.

i wanted to study the art of luis barragán because i was struggling with my own self-expression on social media. the simplicity of his work inspired me to think differently, in a way that valued authenticity through simple rather than elaborate expression.

.   .   .

my satisfaction level for my documentary fluctuated throughout my study. over the past nine weeks, i would estimate that i have spent more than forty accumulated hours on this project, most of which were creating the video itself. thus, i felt unsatisfied and somewhat disappointed with my work around the seventh week of production. i had seen my video so many times that i had lost sight of its significance and weight. only when i began to show it to my friends, my school's faculty, and eventually my school's alumnae, was i reminded of its importance and value. it is somewhat ironic, in light of the message of Loud Quiet, that i needed this satisfaction by other people to realize the worth of my project. however, i did not create this project for the intention to garner that satisfaction. so, i guess that I really have changed after all.

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cheers to simplicity.

yours,

izzy

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the wonder woman

image by actually

yayoi kusama is like no other.

she is a woman that instills a sense of wonder through her art. 

she obscures a person's perception of light and space and depth to transport them to a new place of light and space and depth. she reminds me of james turrell in that way a little.

and that fascinates me.  

though, turrell really focuses on your perception of one object or thing – kusama focuses your perception of everything. 

for me her art is fractals: indefinitely detailed but also complex within the greater perspective.

she uses chandeliers to achieve this in her work chandeliers of grief:

Yayoi Kusama Chandelier of Grief, 2016 Installation, Yayoi Kusama 25 May – 30 July 2016 Victoria Miro

“My art originates from hallucinations only I can see. I translate the hallucinations and obsessional images that plague me into sculptures and paintings.”

image by architectural digest

image by sharjah art foundation

for yayoi kusama, everything is dots.

and those dots simplify the world. 

“Since my childhood, I have always made works with polka dots. Earth, moon, sun and human beings all represent dots; a single particle among billions.”

i thought it was interesting that this perception reminded me of one of the main principles of the novel the swerve by stephen greenblatt. (first of all, you know that i am in full-on senior mode when i reference a summer reading book).

greenblatt says,

“Death is nothing to us. When you are dead – when the particles that have been linked together, to create and sustain you, [they] come apart...”

everything – people, matter, the things around us – is all made up of the same stuff. for kusama, life is dots, which in an abstract and artistic way, represent atoms.

image by itsnicethat

kusama is my wonder woman.

“The most important thing is that the world is facing many crises right now. We’re getting into the worst century in the history of my life. In this kind of era, I will be very happy if everyone can share a common view of human beings for peace in the future and love with the strongest hope. Everyone is an artist. I am going to fight for the world without nuclear bombs, war and terrorism. Let’s fight together. Let’s fight together.”

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eighteen

it's hard to believe i'm an adult now.

i can sign my own papers, take a flight by myself, vote. 

i am my own person now. legally. 

that's such a strange thing, and another addition to the growing whirlwind of growing-up-stuff i'm driving into.

i am not ready to go quite yet – i still have a whole year ahead of me. 

i will make the most out of what i have. i will make the most out of what i am given. i will make the most out of who i am. i will make the most out of eighteen.

i am eighteen now.

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hello, seniors

dear seniors,

hello.

it's a weird feeling isn't it? being back? we're entering this new realm of teenagedom and it feels strange. it feels like we're almost adults – we are almost adults – but there still exists this surreal barrier that we have to break through to get there. 

i won't be surprised if we spend our days writing away our life stories in the next few months, trying to explain our identities in only a limited number of words and numbers. 

two days in, it's already stressful. i want the best for all of you, even if i don't say it to you all the time. we're all going to get there, to adulthood or whatever that means. this will be hard, i know. but we'll get there.

there's going to be a lot of stuff to look forward to.

i'm excited for it all, and to spend our last months together with you guys.

cheers to us,

izzy

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things i did in august

images by gothamist

1. eat at gloria restaurant, nyc

fish and seafood galore a.k.a. my kind of place. 

the restaurant is small and humble, and the windows let in this really nice light. 

it was no surprise that every dish was stellar. really recommend if you love non-meat things and dashi-butter mushrooms.

–

images by melissa joulwan

2. make paleo oven-fried salmon cakes

with more time on my hands, i've been cracking down on trying new recipes.

these salmon cakes with almond flour and mashed sweet potato by melissa are actually so great. i stored them for a few days and re-fried them on a pan right out of the fridge. 

threw it on a salad, dressed it as a burger, ate one for a snack. 

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image by carnegie museum of art

3. visit hélio oitica + history of protest at the whitney, nyc

honestly, whenever i go to the whitney i'm always at least a bit disappointed. 

but, last week was definitely an exception to that. my friend hannah and i roamed every floor, carefully and thoughtfully looking at every piece (especially those of the "incomplete history of protest" exhibit). 

first time in a long time that i was just in awe of an entire collection. 

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4. see dunkirk in 70mm

god, this film was spectacular, which is no surprise because of nolan and zimmerman's unified genius. every shot was stunning, every track was incredible, the entire interweaving of shots and events was brilliant.

i have no complaints. see it in 70mm. 

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5. binge-watch avant garde vegan on youtube

i actually did binged these videos this morning. 

i'm not a vegan anymore, but i have loved gaz oakley's recipes nonetheless. the kitchen in this squash risotto video is goals. 

happy august, everyone.

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a whole month went by

hi,

it's been a good long while.

i've been traveling around the u.s. and abroad for various reasons... mostly preparing myself for the year ahead as i take on applying to college. 

yeah, i'm applying to college this year.

i don't really believe it either. 

i'm slowly realizing how much i'm growing up. not completely, but a little more fast that i'd like. 

i think i'm going to be ready though. i'm ready for a new push into life and a slow close of what i think is adolescence. 

i've been writing a lot, just not here obviously – supplements and essays and drafts about me and who i am. that's a bit weird... a quite large portfolio of autobiographical writing. 

i went out today with my friend and took photos for the first time in a long time. i've never actually done street photography before. this was my first shot at it. i kind of love it. 

summer's halfway over. i'm just a little ways there.

love, 

izzy

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banana pancakes for the win

why don't you listen to one of my favorite songs about banana pancakes by while we take off on this journey through my absolute love and joy for the world of pancakes.

ah yes, pancakes. a joy, a beauty, a grace, a special hole in my heart filled.

there's something so perfect, ya know, about their fluffiness, sweetness, toppings, and stack-ability. a treat of all shapes and sizes and colors and complexities. wow. 

and no appreciation post for this beloved food could go without a video on the art of its creation. hello, buzzfeed tasty - the only thing from them that i actually enjoy.

don't laugh at me.

anyways, oohs and ahhs aside, my pancakes are also pretty awesome.

i got a little inspiration from jeannette who used collagen powder in her pancakes for a little bit of skin + hair boost. 

these are kind of like your average 1 egg + 1 banana pancakes, but better. i've tried those pancakes countless times and i never got them really right. these were 💯.

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best banana pancakes

serves 1

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what you do

1. add everything in a small bowl and mash away with a fork until there are small chunks of banana left

2. i sort of do a last whip with the fork just to make sure everything is combined

3. heat a pan on medium heat with some coconut oil spray. once hot (check by dropping some water on the pan and seeing if it sizzles), spoon various heaping tablespoons into the pan. 

4. cook through (they don't really bubble around the edges, so watch closely) and flip. repeat.

5. stack, serve with almond butter and bananas like me, or just some plain maple (though it's sweet enough already, fyi)

what you need

• 1 medium banana
• 1 large egg
• 1 scoop collagen powder (i use this)
• 1 tablespoon almond butter/pb
• 1/4 teaspoon baking powder
• dash of vanilla
• dash of cinnamon

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go give these a go!!!!!!!

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r/AccidentalWesAnderson

isle of capri motel, new jersey. 

sketch restaurant, london

petra, jordan

ostel hotel, east berlin

wildwood crest, new jersey

rhone glacier, switzerland

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i have an obsession with wes anderson and reddit. i love fantastic mr. fox and moonrise kingdom and the grand budapest hotel, but especially fantastic mr. fox. i feel like each setting of each film is intentional in the grander color scheme of the entire work (as i'm sure every director tries to achieve -- but most obvious in wes anderson films). 

i love the pastels and the tones and the "is this real or am i just dreaming?" feel of all of his works that can't really be replicated anywhere else. it's surreal. wes makes fantasy in real places, a dreamy reality. 

naturally, when i found the subreddit r/AccidentalWesAnderson i was reminded of how magical the real world can actually be, according to what magical means in the world of wes anderson.

these places exist. these colors exist, and i want to have the chance to explore all of them.

"that's the kind of movie that i like to make, where there is an invented reality and the audience is going to go someplace where hopefully they've never been before. the details, that's what the world is made of." - wes anderson

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dear papa,

thank you for everything.

enjoy your papas and sundays everyone.

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chia! chia! chia!

okay. this is not really a recipe at all. 

for some reason i really love chia pudding. it's light, filling, and it's a do-whatever-the-heck-you-want-with-it kind of breakfast.

as i'm watching sense8 and writing this post, i realize that chia pudding is actually pretty awesome. the seeds themselves are full of fiber, healthy omega-3 and omega-6 fats, protein, and super cool vitamins like calcium. 

i also like to just eat vanilla pudding and drink my coffee in the mornings. it's the perfect summer breakfast.

you should try it.

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really-can't-mess-this-up chia pudding

serves 1

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what you need

• 3 tablespoons chia seeds
• 3/4 cup unsweetened almond milk
• cinnamon? almond butter? cacao powder? orange zest? matcha? you name it.
• berries
• nuts
• seeds
• maple syrup
• patience

what you do

1. stir together chia seeds and unsweetened almond milk (and your selected mix-ins) in a small jar or mug. cover and put in the fridge for approx. 3 hours or overnight.

2. uncover. serve with fruit, nuts, and seeds of your choice. drizzle with maple syrup. sprinkle with love.

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really healthy halvah ice cream

it's been, what, not even 24 hours since my last post? that's almost like a new record.

i told you these recipes are going to be coming out really fast.

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i woke up this morning with like 8 bananas in my freezer and halvah on my mind.

naturally, i realized i could make that really healthy ice cream that everyone is always talking about and halvah-ify it. duh. makes so much sense.

naturally, i made this sundae around 9 o'clock in the morning when everyone was still sleeping (including the dog) and didn't wake up anyone? (still questionable). regardless, it's a miracle. 

and the most awesome thing about this recipe is that's a sundae (and it's sunday). which means, toppings!!!

the ice cream was made 1000x better by some tangy coconut yogurt (i use coyo), warm tahini, and chopped salty pistachios. holy heck.

oh yeah, and i made a video.

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healthy, sugar-free halvah wtf sundae

makes a lot of ice cream, like 10 servings

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what you need

• 8 bananas, chopped and frozen overnight
• 1/2 cup unsweetened almond milk
• 1/3 cup stirred tahini
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
• pinch of salt
• coconut yogurt
• tahini, warmed
• chopped salted pistachios
• sesame seeds 

what you do

1. blend bananas in a food processor until smooth. with 8 bananas, i had to scrape down the sides around 5 or so times. add almond milk to help with the banana-to-ice-cream-ify-ing process.

2. once the frozen bananas are smooth and velvety, add in tahini, vanilla, cinnamon and salt. process again.

3. taste test (for good measure). serve immediately with coconut yogurt, tahini, pistachios, and sesame seeds or transfer ice cream to a large freezer-safe container. 

4. if storing in freezer, take ice cream 10 minutes before serving to soften and then serve with those halvah toppings.

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yeah, it's that awesome

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steel cut oats + exciting news ??

hello friends.

monday is my last day of school. (a little hoorah for living through junior hell month).

i have some cool news.

minimalmeals is back (if you remember it. even i even forgot it was a thing).

it's been up for a few days and i've been cooking a lot, focusing mainly on whole foods with the occasional ezekiel toast. i'm not as keen on baking for some reason. i've matured, you know? i prefer savory things now...

well,

all this really means is that i finally have time to start writing recipes again (and posting them)!!!!!!!! very exciting. very. i've missed this whole food-make-post thing a lot, and i'm already revising things and thinking about new food things and doing all the things!

can't you tell i am incredibly excited. anyways, the next few posts will be just recipes so i can have some links for my recipe page. 

first things first, let's do the basics.

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steel cut oats (for the win, and for the humble)

serves 1

–

WHAT YOU DO

1. in a small saucepan, bring almond milk and water to a boil.

2. turn heat down to low and add salt.

3. stir in oats and cook uncovered, stirring every few minutes, until thick and creamy, 20 minutes. stir maple syrup. (add extra water/almond milk if too dry).

4. serve with berries, almonds, hemp seeds, or other toppings of your choice and a splash of almond milk because milk is always nice.

WHAT YOU NEED

• 1/2 cup unsweetened almond milk
• 1/2 cup water
• 1/4 cup steel cut oats
• 1 teaspoon maple syrup
• pinch of sea salt
• berries
• almonds
• hemp seeds

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yours truly, izzy

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this is a post about eggs

i am a big fan of eggs. i really like eggs (like really, really).

why am i writing a post on eggs? because eggs are important to my existence as a living being, and i believe they deserve to have a post dedicated to them. 

also, let's get down to some scientific business here. eggs are super duper rich in vitamins, nutrients, good fats, and protein. they contain all 9 essential amino acids, and minerals and nutrients like iron, phosphorous, selenium, and vitamins A, B12, B5 and others. in other words, eggs are a superfood that don't contain the words "acai," "spirulina," "grass," or "baobab." nice.

they're pretty great. 

eggs come in all forms in recipes, so i want to share with you my favorite things to do with this beloved ingredient. 

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shakshuka (especially from greenkitchenstories) is both an eggs-for-dinner and dinner-for-breakfast sort of dish. it's a good share (or just eat entirely by yourself) food. so in other words, it's pretty great for basically anything you want.

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these simple scrambled eggs. there is little known to me that is as great as simple scrambled eggs. this recipe has a few extras that make the scramble so, so fluffy. aka the best scrambled eggs ever.

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i'm pretty sure you know of izy. her baked eggs with spinach, ricotta, and leeks is one of my favorites for a lazy sunday brunch. like the shakshuka, these eggs are great for sharing, but also great for some solo breakfast-ing. RICOTTA is always the answer.

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this french toast is indeed eggy and fancy. heck, throw in some orange zest on top and you got a fancy one-fourth of a four course breakfast. the roasted almonds give this toast a nice crunchy finish. so, i dig it. 

i hope you enjoy my egg rant

viven los huevos. 

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"i am right now"

System.out.println("Hello, World!"); 

as the school year is inching (very, very slowly) to a close, everything else seems to be picking up. i see why, but at the same time i'm getting incredibly overwhelmed by work and school and not being (in my mind, creatively) productive. 

the thing that's been on everyone's mind is college. college or school. school and college. school in preparation for college. college in preparation for beyond. beyond in preparation for... even further beyond? i'm getting overwhelmed by that too. 

it feels like every adult asks me, "where do you want to go?" expecting me to have a few universities or professions on my mind. i usually say, "i don't know," and they say, "okay" and stop the conversation. even though my seniority "status" will finally be attainable in just a few more weeks, it's difficult for me to look as far ahead as everyone expects me to. 

like, yeah, i'm going to be heading off to a college in just a few more than 365.3 days, but then again there's still 365.3 days until then. maybe ask me, "what next? what are you focusing on now?" while i'm still getting to that point. i mean, usually i have to ask to myself that anyways. 

because i really mean "i don't know" when i say "i don't know" because i don't... know. i'm almost eighteen now. people tell me that i have my goals straight and my life pretty much figured out, but i don't want it to be like that. 

i can say that i know who i want to be, but not where i'm going to be. right now, i'm right here, with a research paper, a critical analysis paper, 3 AP exams, and a literature exam on my hands. what's next is what's right now. i'm dealing with what's right now.

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found artists: javier de riba

i forgot i had drafted this almost 2 months ago. 

javier de riba turns disarrayed spaces into orderly ones in his exhibition "flors," painting geometrical mosaics on the floors of abandoned buildings. both the photos and behind-the-scenes video of his work are breathtaking and undoubtedly satisfying. 

his work reminds me how much i underestimate the power of simplicity in art and how it can transform a space or even an entire place regardless of its imperfections. i think that is what javier aims to achieve: art that reveals the beauty of a space that does not seem beautiful.

“it moves me to think that one day these floors harbored experiences and helped form a part of someone’s daily life, and now finally rest forgotten.”

“through my intervention, i allow this sensation to flourish and offer a testimony to these past lives.”

hello again.

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getting to where i'm going

in my english class, we were given the task to create something inspired by walt whitman's "song of self", which described the individual's search for her own identity. our project was supposed to most authentically represent ourselves in a physical, verbal, or visual medium.

naturally, i chose photography.

here was my introduction to my project:

"it was hard for me to figure out what aspect of my identity i wanted to talk about when the medium in which i wanted to present my project is my identity. the next most logical thing i could about is how art has become a part of who i am. the answer is new york city."

enjoy

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it's hard to stay positive

image by bydvnlln

image by joel

image byfayznasir

my poster for the women's rights march

`````

i've never wanted more than

to fight back

to call back

to protest

to represent me, to represent others, to represent who we are

it's hard to stay positive in a time like this

it's hard for me to have hope

but this is the time when i stand stronger

and i am stronger every day

i will fight, i promise.

izzy

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