2019! & found artists: hiller goodspeed

happy almost new year. 2-0-1-9.

happy birthday to my 5-5 year-old papa. he hasn’t aged since 33.

2-0-1-9. 20-19. 20-nineteen. twenty-nineteen. that’s a weird one. i was just getting used to 2018. it feels like years are rapidly accelerating more than normal. i think i’m in this place where new things are new all the time and new things are a lot more frequent than normal or expected or “i’m-used-to-it” things. i love it. it’s experimental and unpredictable. i get to try and do things on my own, and even though that scares me, it’s also pushing me to figure things out as efficiently and effectively as i can.

i’m being pushed (emotionally, creatively, etc.) and that is exciting.

to celebrate both my dad’s birthday and new year, my mom, dad, q and i usually announce what things we want to work on for the next 365 days. ““new year’s resolutions”” is what the people call it, i believe?

so here are a few of mine:

1. start a weekly (or maybe bi-weekly) video series. get those creative ! juices ! flowing !

2. read a couple times a week instead of exploring the dark interwebs

3. content & quality > frequency & quantity (this is a continued resolution)

4. don’t stay silent.

5. join organizations or groups (in school) that push my boundaries (creatively, socially, etc.)

6. make a lot more art since i have the freedom

what are your resolutions of 2019?

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oh, yeah. hiller goodspeed. what this post is really about. his doodles, art, sketches, gifs, and whatnot make me really happy. they are emblematic of my dry, sarcastic humor. i’m sure we share that same sense of what' is “““funny”””. his drawings weren’t originally in a notebook, but i thought it added an analogous feel.

there’s not much color diversity. and i love that. they’re simple (yet also sophisticated?) drawings and i love that too. they’re just fun.

i thought it would be only appropriate to share them. you’re welcome.

“most of my drawings begin with a great deal of thought. i eavesdrop and daydream and take in my surroundings which i later refine and re-purpose in my artwork. i have email drafts and notebooks where i record half-thoughts and ideas that might become more interesting once i’ve had time to think about them.” - hiller goodspeed, for it’s nice that

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happy (almost) new year!

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spice-y overnight oats

hi there. it’s been awhile without any new recipe updates. while i’ve been back at home, i’ve been making a lot of overnight oats lately. spice-y or milk-y or blueberry-y or matcha-y? i’m sharing this suuuuuper easy and quick way to make overnight oats topped with whatever i had in pantry. that simple.

here we go:

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spice-y overnight oats

serves 1

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what you do

1. combine oats, almond milk, chia, flax, spices, and tahini into bowl. stir until completely combined

2. refrigerate overnight or at least 3 hours

3. if too thick after refrigerating, thin out with a little more almond milk

4. top with more tahini (or even almond butter), pistachios, blueberries, and greek yogurt

5. enjoy

what you need

1/3 cup old fashioned oats

3/4 cup almond milk

1 tablespoon chia seeds

1 tablespoon flax seed meal

1/4 teaspoon ground ginger (or fresh!)

1/4 teaspoon cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon nutmeg

1/2-1 tablespoon tahini

1 tablespoon maple syrup

tahini to drizzle

blueberries (or other fresh fruit) to serve

pistachios (or other nuts) to serve

greek yogurt to serve to serve

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i've been watching

hey. it’s been a bit. it’s been a 43-day bit hiatus. things have been made. movies have been watched. papers have been written. and everything else in between.

i’m back home for four weeks. i’m excited to just have some down time to cook and maybe make some mini movies, but i’m also anxious about getting stir crazy. it’ll be a balance.

speaking of watching, these are some of the things i’ve loved recently:

1. movement

i think i’m a pretty picky music video critic. hozier’s song “movement” in tandem with a very raw dance and dark, shadow-y footage makes for a stunningly beautiful video. i love the side-by-side twins (and eventually triplets) cut together to make a seamless choreography.

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2. where the artists live

me and my friend ana (whose work is awesome !) share art things and design porn frequently. she sent me this new york times video a few days ago about the (kind of) communal space of a few artists. look at those windows. look at the interiors!

“that half door. holy sh*t” - me

“so amazing. the windows>>” - ana

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3. sushi scene from isle of dogs (2018)

it’s well known that i’m a sucker for wes anderson films. isle of dogs was no exception to my obsession. i love this scene so much (and have consequently watched a few more analysis videos than needed on it). can you believe that this is stop motion with mini-figures. the detail is crazy. and this is a time lapse of how it was made.

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4. tom misch medley

misch has never failed to amaze me. his talent live is even more apparent (especially with the slick comps and improvs). wow o wow. i just want to dance in my room. please watch all ~15 minutes of this for your ears’ pleasure.

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5. date and walnut loaf

i love nina montagne’s videos. they’re warm, cozy, inspiring, peaceful. although i don’t eat vegan, i appreciate the simplicity and transparency of her recipes. they’re real. in between videos about food and things, she talks about self love, stress, the joys of being alone, and wellness. it’s really lovely

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hope you like my little update

in case you’ve been wondering what things I have been up to in the past 43 days:

• come home for the first time and realizing i don’t live in NYC anymore

• 2-on-1 lime scooter-ing from koreatown with john

• vote ! !

• win 8 jars of almond butter

• dress up as azumi fujita for halloween (me, for reference)

• fit 6 people in a 4-person car in the rain with the top down

• survive the usc-ucla rose bowl game (loss)

• see toro y moi in concert

• ride home on the bike handlebars with aaron in the pouring rain

• witness a ferris wheel in the middle of campus

• make a short film about an intense dodgeball championship set to '“sicko mode” by travis scott

• rent a casita to live in next year

• ice skate at midnight with like 30 of my friends

• visit casey neistat at 368 (broadway)

• get a christmas tree (not the shrub like last year)

welcome back.

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5 things to make this week

hi there. remember this iconic post when i did that cool thing with the roll-over image? yeah check that out again for these sweet potato bowls.

over the past couple of weeks i’ve been realizing how much i miss new york city autumn. like this sort of thing. any color besides the very vivid blue whenever there’s never a single cloud in the sky—which constitutes most of the week.

i can’t even remember what it was like to have lived here and see this every day. i’m revisiting, i guess.

something i haven’t done is share some link-love stuff. here’s what i’ve loved over the past week or so:

• i could look at a hand making lines all day

• “hey it’s tom misch” and this is awesome

• rose pink sneaker love (with velcro, because velcro is still a lazy style)

• someone reminded me of the eames house recently. i remember seeing one of my favorite videos there when i was little in the yard.

• this film was incredible. watch it asap.

and now onto the autumnal things i’d like to make sooner or later:

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1. sweet potato bowls with spiced lamb

i’ve really been loving sweet potatoes lately. i’m able to steam them in my microwave in my dorm room and just top them with almond butter, yogurt, and coconut that get warmed and gooey. weird? eh. i guess this recipe is more or less an upscale and savory version… spiced lambs, mushrooms, quick-pickle fennel and onions, and yeah, yogurt just how i like it.

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2. kabocha and kale miso soba salad

i have a little bit of an obsession with the winter squash family. (couldn’t you tell from the last recipe being sweet potatoes?). i’ve been meaning to make soba salad recently, and i feel like a miso dressing is the perfect umami-salty flavor to balance out the mild sweetness of the kabocha squash. and a little added kale for good measure. need those greens, too.

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3. ottolenghi’s lamb + pistachio patties

the wonderful yotam ottolenghi just released a new cookbook of simpler recipes for the amateurs like me. from the pages i’ve gotten to see (from a copy at a design book store in culver city) the recipes are, yes, simple, but uniquely flavored and have pretty minimal ingredients. like these lamb and pistachio patties! and yeah, yogurt is also featured. there’s a lot of izzy food trends happening here…

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4. chicory salad with honey-mustard vinaigrette

okay! now! for! very! simple! things! sweet & bitter things. honey & chicory leaves. there’s nothing like a super simple salad for your more complicated entree. “sweet and sharp” is how bon appetit describes it. plus this photograph is just so beautiful.

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5. steak tacos with cilantro-radish salsa

okay, i’ve realized that LA has really good tacos. especially street tacos. that you can’t really find in new york city, or at least, i never really tried hard enough to look. these skirt steak tacos are another addition to our simple recipe collection. a lot of savory and salty going on here: medium-rare steak, a crunchy radish salsa slaw, only the most complementary herbs, and salty cojita cheese to top it off. don’t forget lime.

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i seriously need to make all these things.

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october diary

oct 1, 2018

the broad & walt disney concert hall projections

went to the broad with john in the afternoon. there was a long ling for the infinity room x kusama exhibit. ended up going to the kusama “pod” that you could only stand and look into. the security guards timed you for 30 seconds. walked around to the disney concert hall projections. sat on a cleared parking lot structure. it was a little underwhelming. watching the shadows drift on the broad was conversely a lot more pretty.

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october 6-7, 2018

weekend in venice beach & photoshoot for veuve cliquot polo classic

drove out to venice to meet simbarashe and the rest of the team. got tacos on abbot kinney for dinner. prepped for our shoot the next day. didn’t sleep. was in the sun photographing at veuve cliquot polo from 9a-6p. my legs hurt by the end. celebrated with an ironic meal of pizza, ben & jerry’s and champagne. ate twice at great white. i learned a lot.

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october 20, 2018

row DTLA

went with maia to row DTLA this morning. it was quiet and serene. popped in and out of little shops. sat at a table and just listened to cars and the birds and the people putting away produce boxes from earlier in the morning. bought a little pin that says, “art every day.” it felt a little empty.

october is almost over.

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fargo (1996)

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yeah, i’m a film student now. i watch films. i write essays on them or prompts or whatever. i must consider composition like i plan for it, and map out shots before i see them. it’s a weird and new process.

for class i wrote,

“what are the major elements of composition that the coen brothers employ in fargo (1996) that give the film it’s uniquely thrilling and unsettling feel and atmosphere? more specifically, what aspect of composition—framing, staging, or photography—do they seem to rely on most to achieve this?

personally, what struck me most about fargo’s composition was it style of photography. oftentimes, the coen brothers abruptly switch between perspectives—contrasting extreme long shots with close-ups or medium shots. especially in a place so barren and lifeless as minnesota and north dakota, the prolonged extreme long shots provided the film with an even more eerie and mysterious atmosphere. not only that, but they are strangely and starkingly* beautiful—being my favorite detail of this film.”

i’m a film student now.

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found artists: alex proba

“making [is the best part of my job]. and the people i am making things with.”

alex proba is a “multidisciplinary designer”. a woman of multiple mediums working with shapes and colors and form of all kinds. in 2013, she founded studio proba, where all of her work can be found — aka graphic joy.

one of her most recent projects has been her “a poster a day project” which has been ongoing for almost 3 years. it was, she writes, her way from getting unstuck — to design without really thinking but just playing around without guidelines for thirty minutes every evening.

from abstract to surreal to pattern-filled to completely minimalist, each graphic is unique.

“I can’t take each and every one too seriously and I can’t spend too much time on it. If the result of this is me not liking some, than that’s okay, as long as it still stays my visual diary. That is what makes it truthful and real.”

there’s an integral drivenness that comes with creating something once a day every day for three years. in proba’s case, it requires a drive to not only challenge yourself to create consistently but to let things settle in once they are created (sometimes). often times, i realize, i have a similar idealist/perfectionist mindset when making something.

over the past few years i’ve learned to come to terms with my “bad” art — classified usually by the fact that a) i am not proud of it or b) it just sucks overall. alex is right though: that kind of art is healthy and almost essential to becoming a better artist.

we must remember the sucky stuff we made to figure out how to do something cooler next time. i think about that daily. the sucky stuff is the most real. we made it.

happy monday.

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p.s. happy birthday, gab

hello, la

hello.

i’m in a new place. i’m 3000 miles away from home-home. i call this place “home” now. my friends seem to hate it. i’m just a jumble of homesickness. i’m settled. or settling. i’m creating but just not in the way i expected i would. it’s coming soon, though.

i’m meeting cool people. i’m friends with art people, film people, business people, econ people. i’m finding “me”s. or more interesting “me”s, which thrills me.

i want to make more!

i want to film more!

i want to take the metro more!

it’s only been four weeks.

i’m in a constant reminding-myself-mode that i am just getting started.

i miss home.

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goodbye, hello

i love you.

i love you.

i love you.

i love you.

i love you.

i love you.

i love you.

i love you.

i love you.

i love you.

i love you.

i love you.

i love you.

i miss you.

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summer polaroids

i have three weeks until i leave for los angeles. back home i go. 

it's weird. i'm living these summer moments home candidly and with the intention and the knowledge that they will be my last in this sort of situation, as a high schooler living in new york. that's weird to me. i won't be seeing anyone from home until november. what????? i'm on my own. 

i thought i'd reflect on a few photos that don't exactly sum up my summer but thought were indicative of the sort of stuff i've been up to. they're not in no particular order because chaotic order is more style. or organized chaos, i guess.

i've been walking around and eating and dining and making and doing and cooking and baking and reading and relaxing and visiting museums and seeing people and eating ice cream and dying on the really hot days. 

i remind myself every few days that i must really savor these moments with the people i love here. this is not an ordinary moment. thank you to everyone who's made it special.

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crispy + chewy chocolate chip cookies

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do you ever have those moments where you're like, "holy sh*t i'm a genius"? i had that today. not for any sort of real epiphany or creation or idea, but for, you know, cookies. 

these are the perfect cookies. i even made my own chocolate chips to go with them because i'm bougie like that. carob chunks to be exact. sea salt. unbelievably crispy + crunchy on the outside and the perfect chew on the inside. the most optimal serving of 8 cookies. enough to fulfill the cravings for a few days without overdoing it with 2 cookies every day. 

holy sh*t, i'm a genius.

something that you may or may not know about me is that my digestion is god awful. i have trouble digesting the most basic and most small amount of food. it sucks and i've been dealing with it for a while now. 

foodies on instagram have presented new knowledge to me: for example, aiding and healing your gut with collagen powder, bone broth, gelatin, and digestive enzymes. it's slow but steady. i'm still figuring out what makes my stomach want to jump out the window. i haven't gotten very far in the past few months. 

i'm leaning towards a somewhat aip-type way of eating. aka no eggs, grains, legumes, nuts/seeds, dairy, nightshades, and chocolate. the chocolate really hit me here. (i can already confirm that nightshades mess me up). it looks more restrictive than it is... i've been eating a lot of carob powder, coconut butter, and a wider array of fruits than when i was on keto. i'm feeling better.

hopefully i figure out what's up. 

well, this spiel is really just an introduction to these cookies. they are aip-compliant and so freaking good i could cry. lately my aip creations have been garbage. 

these beg to differ. 

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crispy + chewy chocolate chip cookies

makes 6 large cookies / 8 smaller cookies

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what you do

1. first, make the chocolate chips (recipe below)

2. preheat oven to 350˚F. in a medium bowl, mix coconut flour, coconut oil, maple syrup, sea salt, and vanilla powder. 

3. add coconut milk, baking soda, and other 1 tablespoon of gelatin over cookie dough. don't stir in yet.

4. in another small bowl, mix together 1 tablespoon of gelatin with 1 room temp tablespoon of water. then add in 2 boiling tablespoons of water and whisk vigorously until smooth. 

5. add gelatin/water mixture over cookie dough and mix everything together.

6. wait at least 5 minutes for the dough to absorb liquid. stir in homemade chocolate chunks or carob chips.

8. using a small ice cream scooper, form 6-8 cookie dough balls (make sure there are chocolate chips on top for aesthetic purposes).

9. bake on parchment paper for 14 minutes, or until the outside of the cookies are verrrrry golden and crispy.

10. wait to cool and firm up before eating.

what you need

• 1/3 cup coconut flour

• 1/4 cup coconut oil (softened)

• 3 tablespoons maple syrup (maybe even a little less depending on your sweet tolerance)

• 1/4 teaspoon vanilla powder

• 1 pinch of sea salt

• 2 tablespoons grass fed gelatin, separated

• 3 tablespoons water (1 room temp / 2 boiling) [***note: sub gelatin and water for 1 egg)

• 2 tablespoons coconut milk (i used canned)

• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda

• 1/3 cup homemade chocolate chunks (see recipe below)

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homemade carob chunks

makes a bunch of carob chunks

what you do

1. in a double-broiler, melt cacao butter 

2. i used a muffin tin to make molds for my chocolate and then chopped them up (you can use a normal chocolate mold if you'd like). anyways, cut up strips of parchment thinner in width than the width of the muffin tin. place one in each muffin tin with one end sticking out. these will help you remove the chocolate afterwards.

3. make powdered coconut sugar by either blending or coffee-grinding coconut sugar for 30 seconds (or until very fine).

4. remove bowl with cacao butter from heat and add carob powder and coconut sugar until there are no lumps. the chocolate mixture will be quite thick. 

5. evenly distribute chocolate into 4-5 "lined" muffin tins depending on how thick you want the chunks to be.

6. freeze for 30 minutes. remove using the parchment "tabs" and take off the parchment from the chocolate. chop into large chunks and keep stored in the freezer.

what you need

• 3 tablespoons (42g) cacao butter

• 6 tablespoons carob powder

• 2 tablespoons coconut sugar

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i love cookies

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~updated~ pancakes

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hey ho! 

it's muggy outside! it's gross outside! i hate walking outside! this is new york city at its finest: humid and hot summertime. it's cool though. i only have to deal with it a bit longer before having to deal with it every day in los angeles (hello, college). 

*sigh*

i question whether i was really born for sun. 

i realize i haven't done a link love-ish thing in a while-- where i share internet things that have piqued my interest and things. maybe i'll do that now. that sounds like a plan.

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izzy's link love of july thus far

1. yesterday, me and my friend isla popped into this ~concept~ store in nolita, nyc called bulletin with the coolest shirts and jewelry and lapel pins and other things that celebrate females. a portion of all purchases goes directly to planned parenthood of nyc. yessssss.

2. as i'm slowly starting the process of figuring out what i need for college living (more specifically, in the heat of LA), i realized that what i really really really need in life is this handmade double-sided graphic quilt from cold picnic. get ready for my plant-filled/interior-designed dorm next year. 

3. yeah, it feels like summer.

4. jack harries's new short films never fail to amaze me. a narrative on the effects of technology, rawness, traveling, and connecting with others: headed east.

5. ever since i watched this video (living as a new yorker), i've never not noticed this thing that train conductors do.

6. you know i love james turrell.

[[[ end of link love ]]]

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now, onto that pancakes recipe. aka what this post is really about.

remember these? i don't even remember the last time i made those pancakes. (hint, it was actually over a year ago). i don't even remember the last time i had a banana.

so here, i give you an updated fluffy pancakes recipe. it involves fresh egg whites (leftover from making frozen custard) and coconut flour. easy peasy.

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fluffy pancakes for one

serves 1

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what you do

1. in a small bowl, sift together coconut flour, coconut sugar, baking powder, and salt. mix until combined.

2. in another medium bowl, whip egg whites and vanilla until stiff peaks form.  

3. pour flour mixture and coconut yogurt into whipped egg whites. starting with 1 tablespoon, fold together almond milk with everything else using using a spatula until a thick batter forms. you might not need all 1/3 cup of the milk. 

4. spray a castiron skillet with coconut oil and set dollops of 1/4 cup of batter onto the pan. cook for 2-3 minutes on each side until the edges are brown. 

5. serve and drown in (very pure, very vermont) maple syrup.

what you need

• 3 tablespoons coconut flour
• 1 tablespoon coconut sugar
• pinch of baking powder
• pinch of salt
• 3 large egg whites
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 tablespoon coconut yogurt (or applesauce) 
• 1/3 cup almond milk

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you're welcome. 

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blondies!

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hey? what's up?? 

guess what i've been up to this past month or so?

cooking

getting a job at my favorite restaurant

sleeping in (sorta)

walking late at night with my mom

reminiscing about new mexico

and other tidbits. 

something i've cooked/baked-experimented last week was blondies.

i love blondies. i actually don't even remember the last time i had a real blondie. like butter, flour, milk chocolate chunks-- the works. i'm pretty sure when i was little, my mom used to throw in white chocolate and butterscotch chips too. a super blondie, if you will. pretty sure it was these ones...

but these are different. they're also super blondies, but on the other side of the spectrum... not of extravagance but of...healthiness? 

hope i didn't lose you there. 

i've been trying to experiment with new flours and whole foods ingredients and consequently came up with this thing. they're suuuuupuer moist, suuuuuuper healthy, suuuuuper simple (if you have the right ingredients). they're borderline aip-compliant with a few substitutions (if that's your vibe). but regardless, they're incredible and i'm glad i still have 5 more squares in my fridge right now. 

there's also a secret ingredient in them (hint hint at my whole foods experimentation): plantains. or rather, a singular plantain. it adds the moistness of a banana without getting any banana-like flavor at all. aka it tastes like a (neutral-tasting) normal blondie with a health kick to it. bomb.

things i like to hear.

anyway, here's the recipe. it's just an excuse to try out tigernut flour and plantains. you're welcome.

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flaked sea-salt plantain blondies

serves 9

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what you do

1. preheat oven to 350f. line a 8x8 baking pan with parchment paper (can be hanging off the sides). i do a double-check-non-stick spray on top of the parchment paper, just in case. 

2. in a blender, combine all wet ingredients: peeled plantain, eggs, vanilla, coconut yogurt, and coconut butter until completely smooth.

3. in another bowl, sift dry ingredients: tigernut and coconut flour, beef gelatin, baking soda, baking powder, and salt. mix until combined. 

4. pour wet mixture into the dry and use a spatula to fold wet into the dry mixture. carefully fold in chopped dark chocolate (saving a small handful for the top). 

5. pour (or rather scoop since it's quite thick) batter into lined baking pan and spread evenly. press your remaining small handful of dark chocolate chunks onto the top for ultimate pretty-blondie action. sprinkle flaked sea salt on top for ultra-ultimate pretty-blondie action.

6. bake for 35 minutes or until center is cooked and there is a golden top and a toothpick comes out clean when pierced in the center. 

7. let cool out of the hot pan on top of a cookie rack. make sure to let cool for at least 30 minutes before cutting. 

8. enjoy!

what you need

• 1 yellow plantain (mine was ~150g)
• 2 eggs
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract (or 1/2 teaspoon vanilla powder if AIP)
• 1/4 cup coconut yogurt
• 2 tablespoons coconut butter, melted
• 1/2 cup tigernut flour
• 1/4 cup coconut flour
• 1 tablespoon beef gelatin
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt

• 6oz 80%+ dark chocolate, roughly chopped
• flaked sea salt

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3 days

earlier this spring, my dad and i drove for 3 days from new york to new mexico. and back. i used my iPhone to record what i heard and saw on the way.

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i was grey

here's the thing about graduating at my school. you wear white. pure, crisp, blinding white. or, at least, that's what you're supposed to wear. commencement is a big deal for obvious reasons: it's a nod at our efforts to succeed at school for the past 13 years and it's a celebration of our last moments of being a teenager in high school. like a lot of other schools, we honor our graduation with diplomas, singing, and our families and close friends in front of us while we grin onstage. we are being championed for us. i am being championed for me. 

the symbolic purity of white dresses is something i've only found at my school, (though i know others do it as well in the city). i wasn't exactly white though.

on graduation day, i knew it was coming-- looks (greatly disapproving) and comments towards my dress. i acknowledged that i was pushing white. even though i had expected some pushback before i came to school, i was still so excited to feel beautiful on a day that celebrates me for me, because that's what commencement is all about, right?

someone had approached me before we walked on stage and told me that the color of my dress would ruin pictures. i kind of spiraled into a whirlpool of self-deprecating and self-conscious mind junk after that. 

i did not feel beautiful, i was insecure. i felt ashamed. i didn't smile wholeheartedly until i realized that people didn't have to look me up and down anymore. the biggest day of our entire upper school life and i showed up looking abnormal. 

but eventually i sucked it up. 

i am me for me. maybe my dress wasn't white, but it was me. "irrefutably you" is what one of my friends told me. 

and that was it.

i was grey. 

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(yellow) carrot cake muffins

i'm done. officially done. (just not a grad quite yet).

i celebrated my last day of classes with a netflix binge, a steak, and garlic sugar snap peas. maybe not a whole steak. but definitely the majority of one (thanks, abby's mom). 

and then i ate these muffins this morning for a bit of an after-party.

classes are over. may 18. yesterday was my last day of wearing a green kilt, my last english class, my last math class (talking about gerrymandering, of all things), my last lunch out, my last skipping of first period. that was it.  

and yet, it doesn't really feel over. 

the past few weeks have been worrying over outfits and shoes and dates for prom. it's crazy. i never really thought that i would make it to prom (forever ago, it just seemed like some unattainable event in tv shows based in suburbia. which is half true). 

it's coming to an end. and then arising into a new beginning at film school next year. 

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damn, i'm a graduating senior. there goes thirteen years of my life.

p.s. i compiled a playlist of songs that have recapitulated those thirteen years. 

if you're a teenager, get ready for nostalgia. 

make sure you listen whilst whipping up these muffins. 

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carrot cake muffins

serves 6

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what you do

1. preheat oven to 350˚F. grease 6 muffin pans and set aside. 

2. in a medium bowl, whisk together almond flour, psyllium husk, flaxseed meal, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and spices. set aside.

3. in another bowl, cream together coconut oil and sweetener until fluffy and light. whip in vinegar and vanilla extract until fully incorporated. 

4. mix in eggs one at a time. (the wet mixture looks a little "broken" at this point. totally normal). 

5. add in the dry flour mixture in two parts. mix for a few minutes until fully incorporated. fold in carrots. 

6. distribute batter evenly into 6 muffin pans, smoothing out the tops. bake for 13-15 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. 

7. let cool, add coconut cream, almond butter, and cacao nibs for some fun. enjoy.

what you need

• 1/2 cup fine almond flour
• 2 tablespoons psyllium husk, ground
• 1/4 cup flaxseed meal
• 3/4 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 1/4 cup coconut oil, softened/room temperature
• 1/4 cup granulated sweetener (i used monkfruit sugar)
• 1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar
• 1/4 teaspoon vanilla bean powder
• 2 eggs
• 3 medium carrots, finely grated

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yeah, i've made zucchini bread, pumpkin bread, and carrot cake muffins in the span of 15 days.

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what i've been watching

1/ lights of brussels

tim never fails to impress with his short films (and original scores). clips of his recent trip to brussels were stunning. 

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2/ SOLO NYC

what does working in new york look like? what does working in new york as a creative freelancer look like? this film answers that in 6 minutes and 45 seconds.

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3/ moments

a wonderful and awesome commercial. emotional. teary-eyed. beautiful. 

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4/ sun moon london

fwd: casey neistat. a film completely filmed in 2520mm in london feat. the various different big moons. it's a full aurora of warm. 

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5/ illusions

mind f*ck.

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i'm dancing this week.

it's sunny this week. 

holy crap.

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nut-free ginger bliss balls

i've been obsessed for the past few weeks with making bliss balls, fat bombs, nut-seed-coconut snacks. like, blending all the extra seeds or nuts or cacao nibs and nut butters that i have and eating it all. i think i've made a different test batch every day after i've gotten home from school. weird? yeah, definitely. 

i mean, lee's fat bombs have kind of taken over the health-foodie side of instagram, and they look awesome every time. (yeah, i know, "fat bombs" sounds pretty... non-health-foodie, but we'll just go with it). 

i've mentioned that i'm eating more fats and less carbs. these are the perfect snack for this purpose. they're sugar-free and high-fat, so they'll fill me up between meals if i'm on the run. (just like on our road trip for 11 hours at a time, for example).

because of the ~nutritious~ seeds that are in this recipe, these snacks are high in:

1. OMEGA-3s

improves heart health, reduces inflammation, helps menstrual pain, supporst healthy skin, fights autoimmune diseases

2. OMEGA-6s

reduces inflammation, helps reduce nerve pain, lowers high blood pressure, supports bone health

3. POTASSIUM

stimulates neural activity, stabilizes blood sugar and pressure, supports bone health, strengthens muscles, boosts metabolism, reduces anxiety and stress

4. MANGANESE

supports bone health, helps maintain cognitive function, reduces pms symptoms, supports lung health

5. HEALTHY FATS, to keep you fuller longer

for the purpose of my sanity, we'll revise the name from fat bombs to bliss balls. cool? cool.

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ginger bliss balls

serves 10

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what you need

what you do

• 1/2 cup dried unsweetened coconut
• 1/2 cup pumpkin seeds
• 1/4 cup sunflower seeds
• 1 tablespoon flax seeds
• 3 tablespoons coconut butter, melted
• 2 tablespoons almond butter
• 2 teaspoons ground ginger
• monkfruit sweetener (or maple syrup) to taste 
• salt
• hemp or sesame seeds to coat

1. blend everything together in a food processor or high-speed blender

2. sweeten bit by bit with monkfruit (or maple syrup)

2. roll 10 evenly-sized bliss balls. coat with seeds of choice

3. store in refrigerator 

oh happy days.

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when food becomes art

black sesame tarte with colored tangrams

baked chai masala pumpkin pie

hand-sliced potato tart

miso white carrot pie with black sesame crust

hummus tart with carrot shingles

cranberry curd tart with persimmon tangrams

hi. it's izzy after a total of 66+ hours of driving after our road trip to new mexico this past week (and a half). i'm kind of grumpy and a little too sick of eating a protein bar every day for breakfast and waking up at 5:00am every day for 3 days of driving there and back. but, it was beautiful. i'm home now. 

god, i didn't think that i would be any happier seeing the actual disgustingness of 40 minutes of traffic jam going into the holland tunnel. yep. honking galore.

while my dad and i were driving the final few miles to our apartment, we listed the things that we had honestly missed: (yes, that honking), jaywalkers, asshole taxi drivers, potholes, narrow lanes, sirens, the smell of trash.

i don't know what i'm going to do when i leave.

onwards.

lauren ko is not only a writer but an awesome self-taught baker. there's a little tagline at the bottom of her website that says, "when all hell bakes loose." awesome.

as a food – art and art – food lover myself, when i found her unconventional colorful, geometric, and truly stunning designs on instagram, i instantly fell into a deep admiration. 

are you surprised that buzzfeed already did a video starring a few geometric pies?

lauren uses pretty eclectic ingredients for her pies:

cheddar cheese

cranberry powder

dragon fruit

blood orange

beets

miso paste

paloma

purple yams

holy heck. psa: not all in the same pie. 

inspired to bake right now? yeah buddy.

enjoy your april fools day easter.

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raw keto hemp seed brownies

i finally feel 18. it's a weird feeling as i'm writing this between photos of raw brownies. i feel older and like i have a better sense of what's going on. nonetheless, do i actually really know what's going on? not really.

but i don't have to know what's going on all the time. i don't have to know where i'm going exactly. this is all weird thought processes of adult-dom that's going on in my head right now as college decisions are strangely and unexpectedly around the corner. 

anyway, it's "essentially" spring break right now, meaning that it's exam week but, for me, with the non-existence of exams. so, 3 weeks of freedom here i come. 

i've had a lot of time to think and hang out at home with my parents and my dog and cook and bake and photograph and just do things that i want to do.

it's refreshing once in awhile.

anyways, going back to 1-8. eighteen. "legal adult". able-to-fly-by-myself person. voter. woah.

it's funny, i was reading something i wrote back in 2014 when i didn't feel like a teen yet. how is it possible that just four years ago i didn't even feel like a teenager. and now i feel like an (albeit young) adult? what??? 

i feel comfortable, and i know that that's all going to go away in a few months.

i finally feel like i know where i am (who i am??) and it's all too late before i leave. 

but maybe it's not. maybe it's all supposed to work out like this and i will evolve and settle and grow again. just not here. in california. 

*end of existential crisis speak*

onto the elusive raw brownie. where do i begin. i've made raw brownies in the past, and usually the main ingredient is medjool dates. 

but sugar spikes and bouncing off walls and gi upset (for me)-- so i present, no-date raw brownies. these ooey gooey chocolatey brownies are incredible. 

they have the nutty taste of the hemp seeds (which also give a boost of protein) and the creamy taste of almond butter. it's a health chocolate-almond butter bomb. essentially.

no-date raw brownies

serves 6

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what you need

for the brownies

• 3/4 cup fine almond flour
• 1/2 cup hemp seeds
• 3 tablespoons cocoa powder (i used valhrona)
• 1/4 cup unsweetened almond butter
• 2 tablespoons coconut oil, melted
• 1 tablespoon coconut flour
• 2 tablespoons monk fruit sugar (or just normal sugar if you're not about that life)
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
• pinch of salt

for the ganache (optional)

• 1/4 cup cocoa powder
• 1/4 cup coconut oil
• 2 tablespoons monk fruit maple syrup (or just, ya know, normal maple syrup
• 2 tablespoons almond butter
• pinch of salt

what you do

for the brownies

1. blend everything together in a food processor

2. press into a corner of a bread pan (since this is a half recipe)

3. refrigerate or freeze for 10 minutes while preparing the ganache

for the ganache

1. blend together all the ingredients until you get a smooth cream

2. add more cocoa powder if it’s to liquidy

3. pour over your refrigerated brownies and let it set in the fridge

4. cut and enjoy

happy happy st. patty's day.

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