we are living in a weird time. it’s been surreal waking up every morning realizing that i no longer have such a freedom to walk classes every day. that i no longer can go down the block to watch a movie on a friend’s couch. that restaurants are closed. that people are sick. that others are putting their lives on the line to save the rest of us, to feed us, to deliver the things that we need. that i’m grateful to be able to have a mask whenever i leave the house. that soap and clorox wipes are precious. that i don’t have to change out of my pajamas but i should. that i could eat nutter butters all day but i shouldn’t. that as much as i don’t want to be inside all day, it is a privilege to be able to do so.

life has transformed itself into a daily game of how far of a distance i can keep from every person in my peripheral radius. the mini games include how many different ways i can subside an itch on my nose without touching my face or how much i can maximize the use of a latex glove.

my computer time has skyrocketed to 12 hours a day as of this week (how is that possible?). i feel like i’m constantly connected to its screen. it’s quite literally now how i access my education, how i talk with my friends and my parents and my brother, or connect with anyone, really. so how could i possibly dial back on it without feeling completely isolated? it’s something i’m still trying to work on. to balance at least.

this is what days have looked like lately:

8am – wake up

8:15am – coffee/matcha and kcrw

9am – breakfast

9:30am - 4pm ish – zooming (with lunch somewhere in-between)

4pm – dance-rsizing (“dancing” + “exercising”)

5pm – baking and/or cooking and/or snacking and/or dinner

7pm – fresh air

9pm – movie/tv while simultaneously looking up recipes to make for tomorrow

and repeat.

it’s been a manageable and sanity-evoking schedule. it’s good for now and that’s enough. baking has been my escape (this is my current list of things i want to make).

so among all these uncertainties, here’s sweet potato bread that i made a few weeks ago.

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sweet potato bread for uncertain times

makes 1 loaf

what you do

1. preheat oven to 350˚F. spray a 4x8” loaf tin with coconut oil and line with parchment paper along the sides.

2. whisk together white whole wheat flour, baking powder, baking soda, and spices in a large bowl

3. in another medium bowl, whisk together, mashed sweet potato, oil, milk, vinegar, and sugar

4. fold wet ingredients into dry until just combined.

5. pour (thick) batter into loaf tin and spread until it’s even

6. sprinkle with sesame seeds and turbinado sugar. place sliced persimmon along the top in any lovely fashion that you desire.

7. bake for 60-80 minutes until an inserted into the middle comes out clean.

8. leave to cool for 15 minutes before lifting out the loaf with the parchment paper. store in the refrigerator until ready to slice up.

9. serve with butter & cinnamon & sugar, warm.

what you need

• 2 medium sweet potatoes, steamed, skinned & mashed

• 1 + 2/3 cups (200g) all-purpose flour

• 1 + 1/2 tsp baking powder

• 1/2 tsp baking soda

• 1 tsp ground cinnamon

• 1 tbs fresh grated ginger

• 1/2 tsp ground nutmeg

• 1/4 tsp salt

• 1/3 cup coconut oil

• 1/2 cup cashew milk

• 1 tsp apple cider vinegar

• 1/2 + 1/3 cup brown/coconut sugar

• sesame seeds

• turbinado sugar

• sliced persimmon

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stay safe everyone.

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i’m home for now. all together with my family. i don’t know how to feel or process things other than just existing minute by minute and being thankful for being with my loved ones. trying not to overthink things. i think that’s healthy.

i had a little bit of a breakdown the other night - realizing that with everyone going home because of the coronavirus, it quite possibly might be the last time i see any of my friends for a while. working on projects, having little dinner parties, just being together and talking about somethings or nothings.

initially, the only thing i wanted to do was stay in los angeles. i thought we could all hunker down together and tough it out. have a 2-week long slumber party or something. i thought that was important.

it took me the last 2 days to realize that all i want to do is just be with my family. stuck at home doing puzzles or just reading with the dog.

that is important.

i want to be home.

i’m trying to come up with ways to not get stir crazy inside for long hours (as i know i’ve had troubles with in the past). i’m optimistic. here are some things i’ve come up with so far:

1. catching up on my movie watchlist

2. doing a couple 1000-piece puzzles

3. baking a cake with my mom

4. reading some of the books i’ve been gifted in the past couple of years

5. writing. anything.

6. playing games with the dog - she’s just depressingly laying in front of me right now

7. making homemade pasta with my brother

8. drinking wine. important!

to everyone out there, stay safe.

as my dad wrote last week (when things were seemingly a bit less stressful): “may we all be safe and make lemonade from the lemons of life, and take advantage of its silver linings.”

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izzy is 20 and a college student living in los angeles. this most recent school year hasn’t been easy for her. a lot is going on in the world and she’s having a hard time keeping up with the changes, by herself.

natural disasters amid global environmental degradation, pandemics and the political state of the country makes her uneasy. she listens to the news so she is informed but sometimes it is too much weight for her to bear.

her state of mind has been a shade of blue that may change its hue slightly depending on the day. 

she recalls the last time she was in a similar state of despair.

seven years ago she created a blog because she felt alone. It began as a space to fill her time but quickly turned into a collection of creative endeavors, an accumulation of her images and a place to write her stories. izzy rewinds to february 2, 2014, the first entry in her digital diary: “...but you know what i did about it? i laughed. i laughed because it was my first creation that kind of fell apart and that I was perfectly okay with it. It was all okay.”

as she goes through each post she is reminded of the highs and lows of her life and the words she has used to describe them. She relives celebratory birthdays, holiday feasts, accolades and accomplishments alongside her battles of anxiety/stress, health issues and caring too much what others think. she realizes that there are times when it’s tough to stay positive but life is about ebbs and flows. the steady constant is just creating. 

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a third-person bio was asked of me for an application recently. i thought the description was especially poignant right now. but really, how dumb is it to write about yourself in the third person?

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